Insomnia

It's super late at night, and I just can't sleep. I've already cleaned my room (which is a huge task, if you know the messes I tend to make during the week...), and I'm still not very tired. So I thought I'd copy and paste the lyrics to several of my favorite hymns, mostly just because I want to read the words to them right now. I prefer hymns over many other types of songs, simply because so many of them were born out of adversity, written out of grief, pain, and suffering, all the while still proclaiming the greatness of our glorious God! Side note* I do wish some talented musicians would make some acoustic/non-choir versions of these hymns so I could actually listen to them during the week maybe on my ipod. *End of side note.

This first one became very special to me around the time that God opened my eyes to first see the weight of my sin. I had never really considered the enormity of my sin and God's wrath and the fact that I now do not have to endure it because of Christ, because I am in fact hidden in Him.

Rock of Ages

Rock of ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in thee;
Let the water and the blood,
From thy wounded side which flowed,
Be of sin the double cure,
Save from wrath and make me pure.

Could my tears for ever flow,
Could my zeal no languor know.
These for sin could not atone;
Thou must save and thou alone:
In my hand no price I bring,
Simply to thy cross I cling.

While I draw this fleeting breath,
When my eyes shall close in death,
When I rise to worlds unknown,
And behold thee on thy throne,
Rock of ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in thee. 

God used this particular hymn mightily in my life during my parents divorce and the death of my mom. Though I could not see how anything would ever be good again, He gave me so much peace and strength to stand... He kept me tight in His hand, never letting me go. His word proves true!

How Firm A Foundation

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said,
To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled?

"Fear not, I am with thee, O be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid;
I'll strengthen and help thee, and cause thee to stand
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

"When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of woe shall not thee overflow;
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

"When through fiery trials thy pathways shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.

"The soul that on Jesus still leans for repose,
I will not, I will not desert to its foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I'll never, no never, no never forsake."

I mostly like this one because it's fun for me to play on the piano. The words are the main reason behind my excitement and joy in playing it.

Jesus, What a Friend for Sinners

Jesus! What a friend for sinners!
Jesus! Lover of my soul;
Friends may fail me, foes assail me,
He, my Savior, makes me whole.

Chorus: Hallelujah! What a Savior!
Hallelujah! What a friend!
Saving, helping, keeping, loving,
He is with me to the end.

Jesus! What a strength in weakness!
Let me hide myself in Him.
Tempted, tried, and sometimes failing,
He, my strength, my victory wins.

Jesus! What a help in sorrow!
While the billows o’er me roll,
Even when my heart is breaking,
He, my comfort, helps my soul.

Jesus! I do now receive Him,
More than all in Him I find.
He hath granted me forgiveness,
I am His, and He is mine.


I think I'm finally ready to sleep now.

Freedom Writers? Maybe Not Yet

It's been a while since I blogged (the blurb about Sanjaya doesn't count... that was posted on a joyous whim that he won't be performing on American Idol anymore...). Since the last post I've traveled to Central Asia, returned and started a teaching job here in Raleigh. I've debated about blogging about my Central Asia trip. My conclusion is that I will redirect anyone interested in hearing about it to my friend Amy Hamm's blog. She's still there, and will be for another 2 months. Comment on it and encourage her. I mean, if you know her. If you don't, you still could, although that may be a bit awkward. You should probably introduce yourself first, that way it's not just "drive-by commenting..." I'm sure she would appreciate it any prayers and encouragement and funny stories.

On to teaching. I have a great job, I really do. I work with 2nd graders most days, and I get to take small groups of kids out to the library and help them with math or reading or phonics. They are all super sweet, and very compliant. They just need some extra help, which I am glad to give them. They make teaching an honest joy.

Then there was 4th grade. The office pages me yesterday morning to tell me I am going to be subbing for a 4th grade class. Now, let me get one thing across in this blog. Kids that are older than 3rd grade terrify me. Absolutely. But I just smile and say, "Of course, that's fine." I mean, it's my job, what am I supposed to say, "Oh, no thanks, I'd rather not." The lady in the office then looks around and leans in and basically warns me about the class that I will be entering. So the day begins. I emailed Joanna after only an hour of being in the room, telling her that I respect her so much after I subbed the other day (my friend Joanna, who also goes to TCC teaches 4th grade at another school).

These kids did a lot of different things. It would take too much effort to dialogue even a few of the arguments that occured every 3 1/2 minutes or so, so I'll just list some of the things that happened: shoving each other off chairs (that they were standing in, mind you), yelling at me, yelling at each other, talking about each other's mama's and gramma's, storming out of the room mad at me, slamming the classroom door loudly, telling a heavier little girl that she was going to break a chair she was standing, yes standing, on. This is just a snapshot of them. As for me, I tried many tactics, and they responded to nothing. Telling them firmly but gently was a joke. Yelling only worked for about 7 seconds, and then they just expected me to yell again, and this time louder (because they were increasingly louder). I felt like an utter failure. I came home and vented to Kristin about it, and we were able to laugh about some things, which was great, and both she and Nicole were very encouraging, but I just couldn't shake the feeling of failure.

God comforted me this morning, that though I had failed in so many ways, He had been with me. He had given me grace to speak truth to these kids in small nuggets throughout the day. There was an opportunity that God gave me to tell about half the kids in the class, one on one, that they were not meeting the standards of the classroom, and that is the reason for their punishment. They were mad that they were in trouble, because usually they're "the good kids." I told them that they were comparing themselves to others and thinking that they weren't "as bad" as them. I let them know that I was holding them not to the standard of "better than the bad kids" but to the standard of the rules of the classroom that they're teacher had created.

Of course, if you are a believer in Christ and reading this, you may feel within you the desire to make an analogy that indeed, none of us can meet the standard of perfection, and yet we are all held to it. The only possibility of this perfection, or righteousness, is clinging to Christ, who has fulfilled the law and met this righteous requirement.

"For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit." Romans 8:3-4

This is the part I could not do, working in the public school system. I felt so hindered, so sad, like someone was ripping a book out of their hands just as the mystery was about to be figured out, or someone was turning off the television right before the most pivotal point in a story line. It's like reading that

"all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment."

without also hearing these beautiful truths:

"The Lord is our righteousness"

"because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption."

"For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit.

Not being able to share the crux of redemptive history has really gotten to me. If anyone has any experience sharing the truth of Christ within the boundaries of a goverment/public workplace, please let me know what you have experienced, so that I can learn what is wise and what is best.

I didn't intend for this blog to be so thought-provoking in my own heart regarding what God taught me through this experience. I'm thankful for that. Now on to what I originally planned to blog about, on a more lighthearted note: the apology letters each kid wrote to me.

Their teacher found me in the hall today to give me 15 apology letters. I wanted to share a few of them, as they made me laugh out loud. A lot. :-) Here are a few of the unabridged, sweet, funny letters:

4th runner up:
Dear Ms. Christie,
I am sorry that I caused you so much trouble yesterday and have been disrespectful but me and the whole class is sorry and we really want to make it up to you so if you ever come back we will be extra good to you.
(a boy)

3rd runner up:
Dear Christie,
I'm sorry for standing up when you told me to sit down. I hope you forgive me for that, that's why I wrote you this note to show you so. I'm sorry that the class been roude.
(a boy)

2nd runner up:
Dear Ms. Christie,
I am sorry for being bisrspectful to you. I am more gooder then the way I acted and this is my aplgey to you.
(a girl)

1st runner up:
Dear Ms. Christie,
i'm sorry that I was up out of my seat and talking. I hope the next time you come back I will not talk to eny one so I will not get in trouble. Because when our teacher came to school he was mad. So the next time I think about talking I'll just shut my mouth and will not talk at all.
(a boy)

Grand Prize Winner:
Ms. Christie,
I am extremly sorry that you had to go through all the stress and I am really sorry. I hope you have a great year and that, that never happens again. I hope you find a husban and you have a great class!
(a boy)

I hope you enjoyed these little displays of remorse (mostly over being caught...) They made me laugh and almost made going through yesterday worth it. Funny kids.

Good Bye Sanjaya!

I'm sure cheers have just erupted all across the nation, as Ryan Seacrest announced that Sanjaya Malakar is, in fact, going home. Good-bye Sanjaya! We wish you well...

No Rhyme or Reason

This blog is pretty much a compilation of random events I have witnessed over the last month or so, as well as other things that might come to mind while I write. For those of you who like order, be warned, this post will likely have none.

1. A couple of weeks ago, Kristin and I opened the cabinet to see what you see in the picture to the left. We weren't quite sure what it was that seemed to be taking over the upper shelf. You'd think we might try to investigate, but no, instead we kind of laughed nervously and shut the cabinet and didn't think about it. Looking back, I'm not quite sure why. Anyway, about 2 weeks later, Nicole called for me from the kitchen and said, "Um, Alicia, what on earth is growing up there??" My response of
course, was, "Oh yeah, Kristin and I found that a few weeks ago." Silence took the place of the obvious question: "Um, and why is it still there?" We got it down and found that it was a sweet potato that had been left up there, um, a little too long.

This bottom picture shows what it looked like after encounter numero dos.


2. Sometime last week, I went outside one morning to see what the weather was like, and I saw the following:


This is the second accident that has happened in the last few months at this same corner. Both accidents were caused because someone ran that stop sign. Look both ways folks! This particular guy hit the telephone pole, and actually moved it back about 6 inches, our neighbors said. The other car is around the corner, and I didn't take a picture of it, so as not to appear too tacky (I'm pretty sure everyone was ok, or I wouldn't have snapped this photo).

You can really tell the spring is here and summer is on the way. There has been more activity on our street in the past 2 weeks than there has been in the past 5 months. Warm weather really plays a huge part in what happens. We're all looking forward to the people we'll meet over the next few months. Over the past week or so all the things I learned about helping others last year came rushing back into my mind. I'm still glad I live here.

3. I no longer work at Bartlett Tree Experts! I got a teaching job! I will be teaching kids one-on-one when their discipline issues keep them from staying in their classroom. This sounds difficult, but I am really looking forward to it! I have insurance now! And I like kids, so I think I will thoroughly enjoy this job. Because I took this job, inevitably, my last day at Bartlett Tree Experts was Friday! No more receptionista Alicia!


I think the thing I will miss the most is the bathroom. I think Tangerine (or Tarangatang as a dear friend once said...) is the best word to describe it. It took about a month for my retinas to get used to being blinded each time I walked in, but the color kind of grew on me over time. This is a picture of the actual bathroom wall. See you later, Bartlett!



4. Ok. American Idol. Every year there's a kid who just can't seem to be voted out. I've only been watching since Season 3, but let's recap from there. There was John Stevens, who Nicole Judd and I were pretty sure was in the mafia, because we deemed there no other possible explanation for why he was still on the show. Season 4, Anthony Federov. (Look him up. I had to, because I couldn't remember that year very well). Okay, Season 5, Kevin Covais. Chicken Little himself, as American Idol referred to him. While he was precious, he was not cut out for AI, and yet America just kept voting him on back every week, while super good singers were being kicked off. Now we come to the current season, Season 6. Oh, Sanjaya. For crying out loud. Speaking of crying, check out this little girl's reaction to Sanjaya. Is this simply some intense Beatle-fan-like craziness, or is she just seriously upset that he's back yet another week? You decide.

Bud Light Presents...

Mr. Drive Thru Money Taker Guy

In their series of songs, Real American Heroes, Bud Light gives a shout out to the little people. The everyday folk. They honor people such as the fake tattoo inventor, the 80 spf sunblock wearer, the over the top carb counter, and the way too proud of Texas guy. I think it's nice to honor such as these, so this blog will be dedicated to just that. Inside the Backyard Burger here in Raleigh (Exit 7 off of 540) works the most pleasant man I have ever met. His could easily be the voice of a cartoon character in a Disney movie, and when I use a debit card, he always asks for my autograph, never just my signature. When I asked if I could take his picture, he grinned and gave me the thumbs up. Every time I go through the drive thru, he takes my money with such a pleasant attitude and makes my day all the more bright.

"Thanks for making me smile mister drive thru money taker guy. This Bud's for you." background voice: (mister drive thru money ta-a-a-a-a-ker guy.........)

Go meet him! And stay tuned for more tributes to regular people who happen to take their jobs extraordinarily seriously.

I'll Be There For You... clap clap clap clap clap

When I worked with Centri-Kid in 2001, I met some of the most amazing friends. It's crazy that almost 6 years later, Nicole, Erin, Amber, Casey, Emily, and I all still keep in close contact. Casey, Emily, and I are all members of Treasuring Christ Church in downtown Raleigh, and Erin, Nicole, Amber and Emily and I have all at one point lived with at least 2 of the others. God has been so gracious in giving me these gifts of friendship with these wonderful girls. Even the girls I live with now, I wouldn't know without having met Casey at camp. Kristin and Nicole are very precious women of God, who help me to understand more about His character each day. It's crazy to think how one short period of life could lead to so many other facets of life being altered.

NICOLE
Nicole Judd is a dear friend who I talk with almost every day. I think it is so wonderful to have a friend like that, who you know will care about whatever dumb thing you thought was funny that day. I am very thankful for her, even though she is very far away in Nashvegas.

After reading Nicole's blog, (on my list of other bloggers, to the side...) it got me thinking. There are some really funny tricks that crazy joker has played on me since we became friends nearly 6 years ago, and I feel that they need to be noted, if not by all, at least by some.

1. Once, I was on a glass bottom boat with Nicole, DaDa, and Randy (a dolphin cruise in Destin). We were one level below other people, and our faces were about knee level with the people above us. I realize this may not make sense... sorry. It's funny to Nicole and me :-) Anyway, on the upper deck, there was a place for people to sit, and the back of those seats were windows, looking into the bottom part, where Nicole and I were. So, Nicole says, "look at that!" and I'm like, "look at what?" she says, "that! look closer!" pointing through the window where people are sitting above us. when I lean into look, she bangs on the window loudly and ducks down so the people turn around just to see my big face staring right at them. She loves to play this trick.

2. Right before I was about to go to China in 2004, Nicole and I were sitting out by the pool, just chatting about what I was going to take, etc. She says, "You're taking your cell phone, right?" I say, "Um, no." She says, "Doesn't your cell phone plan have an international plan too? Mine does!" "No, it doesn't. Shut up." "Yes, it does! Yours probably does too! You should totally take yours." "Well, I guess I could look into it." My statement means victory to her. She just laughs and laughs. "You can't take a cell phone to China! I really had you going!" She also loves to play tricks like this.

3. On my first time to ever eat at McAlister's (one of Nicole's favorite places), she asked me if I would throw her plate away for her. Of course, I took it and walked to the trash can. There was no trash can. I walked around the whole restaurant looking for that blasted trash can. Nothing. I turn around and Nicole can hardly breathe she's laughing so hard. At McAlister's you're supposed to leave everything on the table.

4. Nicole also really loves to roll the window down on my side and put the child lock on when we are at red lights so that the person thinks I've rolled my window down to say something to them, and I just have to smile at them like an idiot, because I have nothing to say, and no, I can't roll my window back up.

5. Nicole came up with a name for this one. I can't remember it, though, so maybe Nicole will help me when she reads this. It was something like The Great Hoax of 2006. We love American Idol. Always. So last year, when Chris Daughtry was voted off, we were surprised. Well, later that night, I got a voicemail from the one and only Nicole Judd, saying, "Oh my gosh, they said they counted the votes wrong and they're giving him another chance on the show!!" I told, oh, I don't know, pretty much everyone that I was in contact with for the next 24 hours who had heard of American Idol. Later the next day, when I talked to her, and I said, "I haven't heard anything about that, when is it happening?" She said, "Oh, gosh, I was totally kidding about that. I made that up!" Nice. We didn't call it the great Hoax (or whatever the name was) until a few days later, after I got over the fact that I had spread falsehoods all over Raleigh about Chris Daughtry. It's funny now. :-)


HALLIE
Hallie and I lived together for 2 years during my time at UWF in Pensacola. Hallie loves cheese. I always think of her if I eat really good cheese. Because of her, I stopped eating American slices altogether, and now I pretty much only eat Cheddar.

I lived with Hallie for 2 years (one of which we lived with Nicole Judd) during my time at UWF in Pensacola. She is a wonderful gift of God to me as a sweet friend who tells the truth, even when it may be a hard truth. Another interesting thing about Hallie is that she likes to play pranks.

1. She loves to turn on my hazard lights when I'm driving, but then when I go to turn them off, they turn on. (She's extremely talented at this. She makes you think she's turned them on, when really, she hasn't. Then when you go to push it again, you are actually turning them on yourself. Very funny.)

2. Hallie also likes to put your car in neutral at red lights when you aren't paying attention. Also very funny. Later. Very funny later.

Now, the following paragraph contains the description of the mother of all pranks. Hallie really set the standard high for all other tricksters we know.

A couple of months ago, Hallie decided to tell Ali, our precious former roommate and super-sweet friend about something called the "Milk Exchange Program." In this program, you can take your old milk jugs to Wal-Mart and they will exchange them for new ones, full of milk. If you're getting excited about the possibility of doing this. Don't. Well, actually, you could stop reading this and then go do it, and come back and tell us how it goes. Yes, do that. On with the story. Hallie really talked this up a while, then let it die, not sure if she could pull it off. One day, the two of them were about to go to Wal-Mart, and Ali grabbed the empty milk jug. I don't know how Hallie kept it together. They walk in together, and the person with the blue smock who gives you stickers for returns of course tries to give her a sticker for her milk jug. Ali says no thanks, she's here for the Milk Exchange Program. They walk up to the counter, and Ali, with total confidence tells the employee why she is there with an empty milk jug. The woman says, "I'm not quite sure what that's about, but I was gone yesterday. Let me ask if I missed something when I was out." The lady comes back and says, she doesn't know what the Milk Exchange Program is, at which time Ali looks back at Hallie who is probably doubling over with laughter at this point. The pictures to the right probably accurately portray what she looked like. Ali, full of grace, says, "Oh. I see." We love you Ali! Thank you for falling for the best prank ever! :-)

Thanks for reading my ramblings about God's graces in my life through a couple of my friends. Even my friends and our silliness are a constant reminder that He is good, and that when we place our joy in Him, and make Him our greatest treasure, then we will not be disappointed.

California!

The past 3 days were probably the most packed couple of days I have had in a long time. It all started a couple of weeks ago, after my friend Erin went to the Ellen Degeneres Show in Burbank, CA. I decided to check online for tickets... A few hours later, the show called and asked how many I wanted! So... this past Monday morning, Nicole, Kristin and I woke up bright and early to head to the airport to catch our flight to L.A.!

None of us had flown in nearly a year, so we didn't know about all the new rules (no liquids on the plane...). This was a sad sad thing, because we had to go back and put everything in our check-on luggage. Each of us has a pretty intense chapstick addiction. By the time we were about an hour into our 2nd flight, our lips were hurting pretty badly for our chapstick. We tried water at first, but it just didn't last. It got so bad that we asked our flight attendant if she had any lotion or anything wet we could put on our lips (there was still several hours left on our flight. So, she brought us a cup with some lotion in it. The thing is, at first it worked (kind of), but pretty soon after, it burned. The lotion was called Lemon and Wasabi or something.

When we finally got there, we got our chapstick out, and headed to the rental car place. The SUV's were the same price as an economy car, which is crazy, but true! We drove a Toyota Highlander around while we were there (sunroof and all) and had a blast! The drivers are crazy there, but God answered our prayers and kept us all safe and sane.

The first night, we met my friend Erin and went to the Farmer's Market to eat lunch, and then we went to Hollywood later that night. We saw Jimmy Kimmel outside of his studio, interviewing people or something, and then we just walked around and looked at the "stars." You can't really tell, but I am sitting by William Shatner's star. For those of you who know me well, you'll remember when I thought William Shatner died. For about 3 months, I believed this to be true, until I saw him in a Priceline commercial, and I thought that was really tacky for them to use his commercial after he died. Of course, I Googled it and realized he was very much still alive.

We also went to Grauman's Chinese Theater to look at all the hand prints of the famous people. The cool part about going to Hollywood, was not only the excitement of seeing someone currently famous, but to be able to see where all the old classy actors and actresses had once been, and where their careers were born. It was all so neat.

The next day (Tuesday), we woke up really early so I could get in line for the Ellen Show. We thought only one person was supposed to wait in line, but we found out later (too late) that it doesn't matter if your friends wait with you. Kristin and Nicole dropped me off around 4:30 (which thankfully only felt like 7:30 because of the time difference). Out of 250 seats, we were numbers 8, 9, and 10! It was definitely worth it. Here's a picture of us on the show after Ellen said something funny.



I have to put in a shout out to CK West Coast 2005... I ate at In-N-Out Burger!! I called several of you (Sims, Emily, Miley) and thought of our team. I ate a double cheeseburger with fries and a coke. There's not too much to choose from, if you remember, but what they have sure is good!




This was our last day, sadly, so after the show taping we went out to Santa Monica Pier, where we saw a movie being filmed. It will have Paris Hilton in it, who I am not a fan of, but I have to say it was still pretty cool to see part of it being made. Paris had already left for the night, but we took some pictures of the guy who's in it. It's called "The Hottie and the Nottie" and it's supposed to come out next year sometime. Apparently it's about a girl and her fiance and how she won't marry him until he finds someone to date her ugly friend. A Paris Hilton film is not something I would normally want to see, but I think I'll see it, just since we saw part of it being filmed.

After that, we were so tired, we went right back to the hotel and went to sleep. The 7am flight back was uneventful, (with a beautiful sunrise from the plane) and we are so thankful to have had this experience! It was such a whirlwind, but we had a blast. I totally recommend going to see the Ellen show, if you're ever in the area. And to you, if you stuck through with this blog to the end, thanks so much for caring! :-)


My disclaimer: Not all of these pictures are mine! We combined our photos after we got back, and several of these are Nicole's and Kristin's. Casey's been teaching us so much! :-)